Call Us Today! 305-785-0551

Register Now


Jumping Ships

Posted on Jan 11, 2012 - 10:00 AM | Dating And Falling In Love | Comments (0)

By Katherine Schober


Can men and women be just friends? I constantly hear contrasting arguments for both sides, so it seems that the verdict on this is still out for most of you. Once you label someone a friend, that’s where they stay … for the most part.


There are exceptions to any rule. It’s probably happened to all of us at some point. One day, you’re sitting with a group of your friends and everything is fine. The next day, you can’t stop thinking about one of them in a way you’ve never thought of them before. You’ve seen each other date, been there for the happy moments and witnessed the tears from breakups. You’ve always been there for each other and one day it hits you, this could be so easy.


Some articles claim that dating a friend takes all the fun and work out of dating. All the things you spend time learning about someone new you already know about this person. In addition, the risk involved with dating a friend is much higher than dating someone you just met. If this person is a good friend, you can’t imagine your life without them in it. So what if you try and it doesn’t work?


I may not be an expert, but I’ve had plenty of experience in this department. Some of my best friends are of the opposite sex and I’ve had the awkward talk about unreciprocated feelings. It’s hard enough telling someone you hardly know how you feel, and even harder to tell a friend you want to be more. Admitting your feelings is hard because we all fear rejection, especially from someone you care about as much as a friend. Believe me, I know.


When I finally got the courage to tell my friend Travis how I felt, he practically laughed thinking I was kidding. When he realized I wasn’t, his face got very serious and he said, “Katherine, we are friends. This will never happen. Ever. We are friends.” I’m not someone who gives up easily on something I want. I began plotting to get myself out of the friend-zone. How was I going to turn my friendship into a relationship?


For those of you asking yourself this question, let me save you some time and tell you the answer: you can’t. There is no way to force feelings. Someone either feels for you or they don’t. Travis had never thought of us as more than friends and after our conversation, I thought he never would. But by coming clean with my feelings, I put an idea in his head he’d never thought of before.


A few weeks later we were dating, shocking most of our friends. As someone who believes that men and women can have platonic relationships, dating a friend was something that took some getting used to. I disagree with the articles that say dating a friend takes out the fun and work of dating. Jumping ships isn’t as easy as it may seem. There’s a lot of work involved in getting to know a different side of someone you thought you knew, and hopefully, you like what you learn.


It’s been almost three years since my friendship with Travis turned into something more. I feel for those of you wanting to jump ships and turn your friendship into a relationship. It’s risky telling someone how you feel, but if you don’t, you’ll never know. My advice: proceed with caution. If these feelings can’t be ignored, meaning you’ve tried to put them aside but they keep creeping in like a bad cold, then your only option is to explore them. There is a chance this person feels the same way and a chance they don’t. If they are a true friend, a short period of awkwardness should be all that comes of it before you are back to joking around and being pals.


For me, it was worth the risk. But more often than not, once you’re in the friend-zone, there’s no escaping it. These are dangerous waters, so pick your ship carefully.


Related Posts

Comments (0)

Leave A Comment

Copyright © 2013 by Your Wedding Dance. All Rights Reserved.