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Engagement: Preparing for a life together

Posted on Dec 13, 2011 - 01:00 PM | Engagement | Comments (3)

By Katherine Schober

First and foremost, kissing frogs will not produce you a prince. In fact, kissing frogs will also prevent any not-from-royal-descent/average Joes out there from kissing you for many years to come.


Another lesson I learned the hard way is that singing out loud and twirling around with your arms open in public should be strictly reserved for professionals. This can be dangerous once you are dizzy from spinning and fall to the ground, and not everyone is blessed with a beautiful singing voice. Making a fool of myself before Glee was around to make singing kids cool also didn’t help with the lack-of-prince situation I was facing.


Lastly, if you keep holding out for Prince Charming, you could miss out on life. This is by far the most important distinction between fantasy and reality. Girls with the Princess Syndrome are convinced their prince will come to them. So they wait. Passivity never got anyone anywhere!


By the time I was four, I was conditioned to believe I could be a princess and that one day, my prince would come for me. Fast forward 20 years and these are among the few things I’ve learned about reality.


Growing up with the fairytales that had me believing I could be a princess had a purpose, and it wasn’t to break my spirit or have me thinking the world is unfair. I believe the purpose was to make girls everywhere believe in something good, that love does come around and it can be just as magical as the stories indicate. It’s important that we realize fantasy and reality don’t match up, but also that we don’t lose our ability to dream big.


The reality that we can’t all be princesses is something I’ve come to terms with. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have our happy endings. In fact, I know several couples who are on the path to their happily ever after as we speak.


My friend Katie knows she’s not a princess, but still fully believes she has found her prince. “Ryan is literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my best friend, biggest supporter, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.”


My friends are among thousands of engaged couples eagerly awaiting their wedding date. This should be the happiest day of their lives. But the road to married bliss isn’t always paved smoothly. While the time leading up to the engagement is filled with anticipation and hope, planning a wedding is reportedly one of the most stressful events of a lifetime.


In a recent article from the Huffington Post, some women actually get depressed after that ring is on their finger. What I found most interesting is their explanation: “Once the bauble was placed on [her] finger and the news was made public, whatever private wedding fantasy [she] may have been harboring in [her] mind had to meet it’s sworn enemy: Reality.”


The majority of women develop the most extravagant ideas for what they want in their wedding during their childhood. Their imagination runs wild with the fairytales they’ve heard and movies they’ve seen. Planning the wedding of their dreams is often impossible. What the article from the Huffington Post points out, and what I hope everyone reading this blog takes away from this as my main purpose for writing this piece: let go of the ideal fairytale wedding! Don’t give up on the realistic things you want in your wedding, but don’t let the stress of striving for perfection get in the way of what’s most important.


The term Bridezilla was coined because of the women who refuse to believe they can’t have it all. When I asked my friend Katie, who’s wedding date is just two weeks away, what has kept her sane during the engagement process, she said, “I love Ryan. I would marry him in sweatpants if I had to. I think I’ve just tried to remember the big picture. Forever, he will be mine and I will be his.”


Remembering the big picture can be hard for some couples, especially brides that have envisioned this day since they were just little girls. Some women know what they want for their color scheme, the flowers, and even their dress before they’ve even met the man that stands across the aisle.


There is nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she wants, in fact, more power to you! My point in writing this piece is to make sure you don’t let knowing what you want get in the way of what you need. Don’t go without air conditioning in the summer just to afford your idea of the perfect venue. Stay within your budget and consult with your groom. It’s his day too and working together is what this entire process should be about, because for the rest of your life, you two will be a team. Looking back on your engagement should be a reflection of how together, you made the day special, not the flowers that cost a fortune.


If you are lucky enough to find your soul mate, the man that keeps you awake at night “because reality is finally better than your dreams” (thanks Dr. Seuss for all your wise words that have shaped my life), then you have to put Bridezilla to rest and remember your wedding will be perfect because of the person you are marrying.


Congratulations to everyone in love. For those that aren’t, your prince will come. If he doesn’t, go find him! When it’s time, keep the big picture in mind.

Special thanks to Katie Giddens for sharing your inner most thoughts. I’m glad the engagement process for you was filled with joy and excitement. I cannot wait to see the two of you on your special day and start the LIFE in love you so deserve.

 Katie Giddens and Ryan Groff. Wedding Date: December 22, 2011


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Comments (3)

1. @Marie, I'm sure you weren't that bad! There's a little "bridezilla" in all of us. Glad you guys made it through!
    Comment By Katherine Schober - Dec 29, 2011 11:46 AM

2. What a great message. I think so many brides needed this reality check.
    Comment By Julie Forth - Dec 19, 2011 11:29 AM

3. I wish you had posted this 2 years ago! I was quite the "bridezilla" but my husband and I got through it and are stronger than ever!
    Comment By Marie - Dec 14, 2011 4:08 PM

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