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A Multicultural Wedding

Posted on Feb 08, 2012 - 12:00 PM | Wedding Planning | Comments (0)




Our guest writer talks about planning a multicultural wedding and the challenges she faced. She asked that she remain anonymous but hopes her words can encourage other multicultural couples to seek compromise.

 

As a public relations major, I was encouraged to take as many writing classes as I possibly could. In order to meet one of my writing requirements, my best friend advised me to take Writing for Engineers.

 

“It’s an easy A,” she said. That was all I needed to make my decision to take the class.

 

As the only girl and non-engineer in the class, I couldn’t have felt more special. I was treated like a queen. For the final project, we were paired in groups of two. The professor decided to pair me with the quiet Asian guy whose name I couldn’t even remember. Being the cocky, over confident Colombian girl who was accustomed to getting away with everything, I thought it would be easy to push him around like the other guys in the class. Maybe I could even get him to do the project by himself. Wrong. I was incredibly wrong.

 

Dong-su wasn’t like the other guys I had met before. He did not put up with my irreverence and didn’t follow my orders like an obedient puppy. He was the first guy in my life who challenged me. As much as I hated him for that, I was also intrigued by him. When the project was finally over, I missed him. After the summer break, we ran into each other in the library and started to connect. To make the long story short, not too long after that meeting we were dating.

 

On our two-year anniversary, Dong-su proposed to me, and without hesitation I said yes.

 

As an excited bride-to-be, I couldn’t wait to plan my wedding according to the traditions I was brought up with. Everything was planned: I wanted a Colombian wedding where people would be dancing salsa and merengue to vallenatos (typical Colombian music from the northern part of the country) all night long. But I was forgetting that the groom was Korean-- who thought salsa and merengue were food and vallenato an animal-- and he also wanted to incorporate Korean traditions into the wedding.

 

Things that were never an issue when we were dating started to become an issue when we were planning the wedding. It got to a point where I even considered calling the whole thing off.

 

We couldn’t afford to have two weddings, so we were left with two choices: compromise or call it off. We decided to compromise. We made a list of five things that were important to us (not things that the guests or our parents wanted) and decide to incorporate Colombian and Korean traditions into the wedding.

 

Instead of just having Latin music, we decided to also incorporate Korean and American music for our Korean and American guests.

 

The wedding may not have gone according to what I planned when I was 15 years old, but it was still magical because I married the man I loved.

 

 

 

My advice to couples who are going through the same is to compromise. It may not be the easy way out, but at the end of the day relationships are not about winning; they are about growing together and compromising.

 

Although we come from two different backgrounds, I love him with all my heart, and I can’t imagine my life without him. Being in a multicultural relationship is a challenge of its own, but we are determined to create new traditions that work for us.

 


 

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