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Take A Stand

Posted on Feb 22, 2012 - 12:00 PM | Wedding Planning | Comments (1)
By Natalia Rodriguez


By Natalia Rodriguez

 

Right after my best friend, Linda, got engaged, she called to inform me that she was getting married and I was her maid of honor. The following weekend when we met to discuss her wedding, she showed me what she called her “wedding box.”  In that box, which she had since she was a little girl, she had pictures of wedding dresses, venues, cakes, etc. In other words, she has been planning this day since she was nine years old, and now that she had the groom, she could finally make her dream wedding a reality.  

 

As the wedding plans progressed, Linda’s mom started to take a more active role in the wedding. From the smaller details like the color and font of the invitations to the big things like the wedding dress and venue, she had unsolicited advice about everything. Every suggestion that Linda had, her mother would kill with these determined words: “It doesn’t go with what we are going for.” I could never understand what she meant by that because all her “suggestions” had nothing to do with what Linda had envisioned for her wedding. Linda went from being the protagonist to becoming an accessory in her own wedding. 

 

The problem that Linda was having was that she didn’t know how to say no. She understood that this was also an important day for her mother, and she didn’t want to hurt her feelings or make her feel excluded. This eventually got a hold of her. She was no longer excited about her wedding. It was more about something she had to go through than an important milestone in her life.

 

Watching how Linda was losing her wedding to her mother, it reminded me of the movie “Our Family Wedding” (with America Ferrera; I highly recommend it). There was a quote from this movie that describes Linda’s situation perfectly. It said, “Our wedding, your marriage.” Is a wedding more about what the family wants and family traditions than what the bride-to-be wants?

 

I don’t know what it is like to plan a wedding. To be honest, I have never been one of those girls who knows what her wedding is going to look like, who will be in it, etc. I always figured I would let my mom do a lot of the planning to help keep me sane. But after witnessing

Linda’s experience with her mom, I realized that a wedding is about the bride and groom, not the guests or family. It’s important that the wedding couple voice their opinion and stand up for the things they want.

           

A wedding should be a celebration of your relationship and the new life you’re starting with the person you love. If there are traditions you don’t feel comfortable with or things your family wants you to do but don’t correlate with what you’ve ambitioned, don’t be afraid to say no. I’m not telling you to become a bridezilla or alienate everyone around you. I’m just saying that at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you should have the last word.


 

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Comments (1)

1. Tell this to all the mothers out there. LOL!
    Comment By Patricia - Feb 23, 2012 10:03 AM



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